An Emotional Day by Shawnda Rae

Topic: Exhaustion

So I was an emotional wreck yesterday. I was driving to work crying cause J left me, nobody wanted to date me, and i have no Mountain Dew. I know, I know. . .

But what really makes this laughable is it all started because I did not have any Mountain Dew to take to work. Within ten minutes I convinced myself that nobody loves me, that it was all my fault for J being unhappy in the marriage, that I will never be good enough for anyone. And I was pathetic because I forgot to buy my daily Mountain Dew.

It came down to that I was just mentally, physically, and emotionally tired. Everyone kept texting me all day and told me that everything was okay and I was loved and someone was out there for me. But at that point all I could see was that I was a single mother of three struggling to raise her kids. No husband (so that prince charming happily ever after is just crap). And I still did not have any Mountain Dew (that one was actually at the top of the list).

So I cried all day at work. I cried cause I only had enough money to buy one Mountain Dew out of the vending machine. I cried cause I drank all my Mountain Dew and did not have any more money on me to buy another one. I cried cause I only had two pudding cups in my purse (which I ate while crying). I cried cause my boss left an empty box in my office. Then I cried when he wanted the box back. So yeah. . . it was a really bad day. I did not even cry this much when my dad died. . . *sigh*

So I picked up the kids from daycare. Rented a couple of movies and ordered a couple of pizzas for the kids. We had ate dinner and started to watch movies. . . and I started to fall asleep. In the end I slept off and on for 14 hours.

This morning I felt better. Not great, but better. We had lunch with my sister and niece. We had a great rehearsal for Happy Days. I took the kids to the mall and just kinda hung out there for a while. Then I took Steven over to a friend’s house so he could spend time there for awhile. I talked to the mom for awhile (we are friends). Then I brought the girls home and I took a long hot bath and realized. . . Life might suck A LOT but in the end it works out.

I might not have someone to hold me when I am having a bad day or a nightmare. But what I do have is friends that love me (I get told it on a daily basis). I have the greatest kids anyone can ask for (most of the time). And 2 two liters of Mountain Dew in the fridge unopened.

Comments
7 Responses to “An Emotional Day by Shawnda Rae”
  1. TJ Alexian says:

    Sometimes to get by, all you need are your friends and the kidlets surrounding you…and a couple of bottles of Dew. Great story!

  2. Shawnda – Thanks for your candor and emotion in this piece. I am so glad you are feeling better. I feel the way about coffee the wa you feel about Mt. Dew, so I am glad you are well stocked now! -Alexandra

  3. Jared Karol says:

    Shawnda, Every time I read this piece, I like it more. It’s funny, when things couldn’t get any worse, sometimes the thing that’s the worst is just the thing that we hadn’t wanted to put any thought into–we just expect it to be there.

    I’m glad you’re writing with us. Hope to have you on again.

  4. K-Rock says:

    This has been me soooo many times! One little tiny thing, like making a quesadilla and then realizing that the sour cream in my fridge is expired and not even close to the date, can push a bad day into the disaster category. My solution when I get like this – watch Woody Allen movies. He is a good commiserator. :-)

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