Laughing in the Face of Coincidence by Mona Andrei

Topic: Coincidence

They say that there are no coincidences.

I laugh in their face.

Partly because not knowing who “they” are gives me courage; and partly because I don’t agree.

Something else that “they” say is “shit happens”. Now there’s a philosophy I believe in!

To be fair though, I have to admit that whenever shit happens in my life I always try to link it up with a potential greater meaning.

Like when 2011 began with my dog being attacked by another dog. The cruel incident left my dog with a broken jaw, a feeding tube sticking out of her neck and a feeding schedule that took over my life.

As the vet was explaining how to feed her (also known as the fricken feeding modus operandi), all I heard was a bunch of “blah, blah” thanks to the internal monologue that was going on in my head:

“Why? Why? Why?!! What the hell did I do to deserve THIS? Just shoot me NOW because I can’t do this . . . A tube sticking out of my dog’s neck??? EWWWWWWWW!!! Maybe I can hire someone to do this for me . . . Maybe I can pretend he’s got me mixed up with someone else . . . that she’s not my dog . . . Maybe I can run away from home! That’s crazy. 46 year old women don’t run away from home . . .”

All that to say that the first time he explained the feeding process to me (the blending of the food in the food processor; the medication; the ratio of food to water; the attachment of the syringe to the tube sticking out of her neck) I didn’t hear a single word. Not one.

Well that’s not exactly true. I was paying attention until he used the words “food”, “neck” and “tube” in the same sentence. That’s when my mind got taken over by a gaping hole. THE gaping hole. The one in my dog’s neck.

Okay. So here’s where the Coincidence –vs- Shit Happens part comes in.

That night as I prepared for feeding number 1 of 120 (four times a day for a month) my frustration of the entire incident (my dog’s pain, the OMG vet bills, the feeding contract) got to me and I started wondering about the real “why” behind all this:

“They say there are no coincidences. Okay. So am I sitting on the floor right now feeding my dog through a tube in her neck because this is part of a bigger plan? Am I in some sort of boot camp right now? Getting comfortable with THIS so that I can do it to someone else in the near future? Is my mom going to get sick? Are my kids going to be in an accident? Who else in my life is going to have a tube sticking out of their neck?!!”

And that’s when I decided that life is not about coincidences. No WAY!

Shit happens and that’s all there is to it!

Comments
One Response to “Laughing in the Face of Coincidence by Mona Andrei”
  1. That’s too funny b/c I had this conversation with my bf last night! He believes in coincidences and I, well I do, but I dont believe that EVERYTHING is a coincidence. Unfortunately, the sad story about what happened to your dog is probably just one of those unlucky sad things that happens… so I suppose I would agree… Shit most definitely does happen!!

    Hope your dog is better and you’re off that horrid eating schedule!

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