And for what? by Thoughtful Pop

Topic: Entitlement

Cold tile floors woke my toes and I
Shuffled brewed beans before my nose so I
Could see before I saw the writing on the wall
That this would be a day that just got away
That my nasty breath would pale to the noxious rage
That would poison the air and stain the thoughts
Of tiny canvases who were caught
In my direct line of fire

My fire
My anger
Mine
It was all mine
All mine

This bubbling pot over a burner boiled
This brand new chance for today cooked
This smile, this moment, this gift, this now
This get down on the floor and wrap my arms around my child
And teach her with my eyes of love and refuge and light

Gone

And for what?
For a look, word or glance, imagined or enhanced
For tired eyes and selfish thoughts scrawled on forgotten lines in my mind
For a want without a need
For invented cuts that don’t bleed
For what I feel I deserve but plainly didn’t earn

So as I stewed in the pot of my own creation
The pot boiled over and burned anyone foolish enough to pass by my furrowed brow
And I sit there immersed in my own shit

And for what?

While I flung my fury unrestricted
I convinced myself that was permitted
Unconvincing even to myself I saw
That still nothing was resolved
When the boil fell to a simple simmer
The steam cleared and clarity came to show me
All the stains on faces below me
That my ire was contrived
That it was I who created this
This steaming pile of boiling shit
That soiled this day yet begun
That sullied the air we breathe
That slayed hope, executed security and laid waste to joy
right there in my family’s kitchen

Who was I to feel so entitled to the rage that I claimed
Who am I if not the man who can stand on his own two
For his own two
And breathe peace before you
Who will I be if I do not allow my stumbles to let me see
That I deserve only that which I earn
That what I teach they will learn
That anger, that love, when released, will return

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jared Karol, Jared Karol. Jared Karol said: The Write On Project new post by @thoughtfulpop on Entitlement https://thewriteonproject.wordpress.com/2011/02/16/and-for-what/ […]



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