An Emotional Day by Shawnda Rae
So I was an emotional wreck yesterday. I was driving to work crying cause J left me, nobody wanted to date me, and i have no Mountain Dew. I know, I know. . .
But what really makes this laughable is it all started because I did not have any Mountain Dew to take to work. Within ten minutes I convinced myself that nobody loves me, that it was all my fault for J being unhappy in the marriage, that I will never be good enough for anyone. And I was pathetic because I forgot to buy my daily Mountain Dew.
It came down to that I was just mentally, physically, and emotionally tired. Everyone kept texting me all day and told me that everything was okay and I was loved and someone was out there for me. But at that point all I could see was that I was a single mother of three struggling to raise her kids. No husband (so that prince charming happily ever after is just crap). And I still did not have any Mountain Dew (that one was actually at the top of the list).
So I cried all day at work. I cried cause I only had enough money to buy one Mountain Dew out of the vending machine. I cried cause I drank all my Mountain Dew and did not have any more money on me to buy another one. I cried cause I only had two pudding cups in my purse (which I ate while crying). I cried cause my boss left an empty box in my office. Then I cried when he wanted the box back. So yeah. . . it was a really bad day. I did not even cry this much when my dad died. . . *sigh*
So I picked up the kids from daycare. Rented a couple of movies and ordered a couple of pizzas for the kids. We had ate dinner and started to watch movies. . . and I started to fall asleep. In the end I slept off and on for 14 hours.
This morning I felt better. Not great, but better. We had lunch with my sister and niece. We had a great rehearsal for Happy Days. I took the kids to the mall and just kinda hung out there for a while. Then I took Steven over to a friend’s house so he could spend time there for awhile. I talked to the mom for awhile (we are friends). Then I brought the girls home and I took a long hot bath and realized. . . Life might suck A LOT but in the end it works out.
I might not have someone to hold me when I am having a bad day or a nightmare. But what I do have is friends that love me (I get told it on a daily basis). I have the greatest kids anyone can ask for (most of the time). And 2 two liters of Mountain Dew in the fridge unopened.