Choosing Happy by Jen Hurowitz
Topic: Intentions vs. Goals
Goal 1: Be happy.
Goal 2: Always follow Goal 1.
I haven’t always been a happy person. I had every intention to be happy. I wanted to get married, have children, laugh a lot and be the ideal grown-up I had created in my head. For some reason, I had to struggle to see the glass as half full, not because I wanted to be a pessimist, but because I didn’t know how not to be.
My parents divorced when I was 18. I let that affect me more than it should have but I had help from others when it came to being good at being miserable. I always felt that there was an optimist inside but I settled for being a realist.
I had every intention of having children by age 25. Therefore I intended to be happily married for a few years before that in order to really be “ready” to be a mother. When my 25th birthday came and went and I found myself still single, the age changed to 30.
I intended to finish my Bachelor’s Degree in a timely manner and not in the ten years it actually took. I intended to pick up my journal and finally get back into writing. I wanted to actually write the ideas that flowed through my head, and with all my good intentions sat a pile of unused journals.
I let my misery invade most aspects of my life. I intended to have a better attitude at work but instead found myself rolling my eyes. I intended to wear a little less heart on my sleeve but felt I was being “fake.” I had every intention to explain to everyone why I was so sad, but had little energy left for the tale.
Even when things were happy I struggled. It wasn’t until my boyfriend (who is now my husband) said to me one day, “You know, you can choose to be happy or you can choose to be sad. I choose to be happy,” that I realized how much I was affecting those around me. When he said this to me, his mother had cancer. He didn’t just intend to get out of bed every day despite his pain; he made it happen.
When he asked me to marry him, we planned a quick wedding with every intention that she would see us wed. Sometimes the best intentions aren’t enough, and she passed away before the wedding. In spite of our immense sorrow, we found the happy on that day.
Today I can say that the glass is half full because I choose to see it that way. My intention to be happy turned into a goal to live a life filled with happiness.
Now when I hear or think of the word “intention”, I take it with a grain of salt. Sometimes it really can be as simple as a silly goal that just makes you smile. Be Happy. When it’s storming, when nothing is working, when everything is failing and you just can’t take anymore, look inside yourself and you will find something to be happy about.