Outside the Online Dating Profile Box by Kimberly
Working in a female-dominated industry, having mostly married friends, I’m sure it won’t surprise you to learn that the supply of eligible bachelors isn’t abundant in my world.
Lately, I’ve been considering remedying the situation by subscribing to an online dating service.
I’ve been there, done that.
And it’s not quite worked out for me.
Maybe it never will.
I vacillate between optimism that “this time” I’ll find someone and the dire gloom and doom pessimism of a jaded heart that has seen the evidence, heard the lies, and experienced the heartache of online relationships that were doomed from the start because of unrealistic expectations, stretched realities, and bad timing.
But ultimately, the desire to find someone usually wins out, and I once again dig out my microscope to explore the life forms that teem within the online dating puddle.
I start with writing or revising my own profile.
I make every attempt to be as honest and forthright as possible. But as I’m checking boxes and filling in squares, it occurs to me: there is no way on Earth to put the complexities of me inside these little boxes.
Unquestionably adorable (okay. . . that might be a stretch) and definitely multi-faceted.
How do I expect to express all of that on a computer screen in these silly little confining boxes?
I simply can’t.
I don’t want to be judged for being simply what fits in the check mark and short answer boxes on the profile screen. There is so much more to me than that.
And yet, if I am painstakingly, brutally honest. . . I would have to admit that I do just that with the profiles I see. I judge.
That one there? He mentioned fishing. Cross him off the list. He probably fishes all day Saturday and Sunday every single weekend and even buys his mother fishing lures for her birthday.
And this one? He says he likes hockey. I hate hockey. Delete him too. He’d probably expect me to go to every hockey game and wear a hockey jersey, bring him beers and smash the can against my forehead.
Oh. . .and don’t forget this one: he doesn’t like cupcakes. Who doesn’t like cupcakes? Must be something wrong with him.
See what I did there? And there? And there?
Yeah. I see it too. And I’m ashamed.
I judged them based solely on the contents of their profile boxes.
I didn’t give any of them a chance to show me their smile, their depths, their facets.
I need to give each one an opportunity to show me the part of themselves that doesn’t quite fit inside those profile boxes.
And I need to take the leap with a little faith that some great guy will be willing to think outside of my boxes too.