The Most Important Form of Communication: Self Talk by Mona Andrei
Topic: Communication
When I first read the email about the return of The Write On Project (TWOP) and the invitation to write a post for the month of February, one word came to mind: “Yayyy!”
Then when I saw the topic – “Communication” – I got even more excited. Partly because I love anything that has to do with communicating (talking, writing, marketing, social media) but mostly because I do all of these things on a daily basis – as both my vocation and my passion.
Turns out I’m not the only one who thinks communicating is pretty important. While trying to narrow down the angle for this piece I did a quick keyword search on Twitter and was pleasantly surprised by the number of profound tweets on the subject of “communication”:
Will Smith:
6 Keys to a great relationship: friendship, freedom, honesty, trust, understanding, and communication.
Candace:
When there’s no communication in a relationship, it opens doors for assumptions.
You Should Have Known:
Long distance relationships PROVE that Love is about communication.
PJ:
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Um, okay, maybe that last one has nothing to do with my point, but clearly communication is one of the keys to both successful relationships and topical tweets.
And while communicating with others is pretty important, it’s the conversations that we have with ourselves that trickle down to every other aspect and relationship in our lives.
But we all know this, right? I mean the fact that our self talk is the foundation of everything, including both our failures and our successes, is pretty basic stuff, right?
And yet it remains a mystery why we indulge in so much negative self talk. Every single day of our lives.
We tell ourselves that we’re not as smart, that we’re lazy, that we’re not deserving . . .
Truth is, even our pets receive the positive reinforcement that we don’t give to ourselves. Or at least don’t give to ourselves often enough.
I know it’s not New Year’s Eve but I welcome you to join me in forming a new resolution of habits: replacing negative self talk with positive encouragement.
I am smart. I work hard. And I deserve only the best – as I’m sure you do too!
The Write On Project 
I had counselling for years and part of getting to be more balanced was getting to like myself, as I had low self esteem. The exercise that helped most is called the ‘mirror exercise’; this is where I was told to talk to myself positively in the mirror every day at least once. So you are right that talking nicely to ourselves helps self esteem. Mind you I am rough on myself when I screw up or don’t get enough done, but then I’m self employed and you know how pushy most bosses are!
I agree, Richard. We are sooooo hard on ourselves. Love the mirror idea and thanks for sharing it. The best part of using a mirror is that we’re forced to look into our own eyes – and connect! (The other good thing is that we can’t talk back 🙂
Thanks for the smile (tell-a-woman) and the reminder about how important it is to break out of the habit of talking to ourselves negatively. So true, and yet it’s so easy to forget. I like Richard’s idea of taking the time out to look in the mirror and talk positively….a great habit to start!
Yes, it really is a habit. The good news is that habits can be broken; or even more important, replaced with something better that will impact our lives!